I decided I wanted to breastfeed Ariana from the moment I found out I was pregnant. Actually, it was never really an option as much as a given. You have a baby, so you breastfeed (or so I thought). I went throughout my pregnancy just having that in mind.
With the precious arrival of my baby, I did not expect to have issues with breastfeeding.
While in the hospital, all was well. My baby only needed very little amount of colostrum at that time and I managed to squeeze and hold on tight while she latched on. At this point, baby seemed to be content. It's as if she was waiting for us to leave the hospital to really express how hungry she was.
The first night home was incredibly insane!
She cried a cry that was quite terrifying and she wouldn't latch properly! I could tell she was hungry by the way she would try to find the source of milk (colostrum) at any cost but it wasn't good enough. I believe the term is hangry (lol). We finally gave up and called the helpline from the hospital and they ok'd for us to give her formula. My hubby rushed to buy her formula before the sun was even out and she finally calmed down once she ate.
Then 2 days later my milk supply came in, which was quite unpleasant. If I ever had a thought in my mind to get breast implants, that pain quickly got those thoughts way out and to never be brought up again. Anyway, I thought once my milk supply came in that all would be well with the world. Nope, baby was still quite unhappy and I was engorged and in pain.
We went to her doctors appointment and there I found out that indeed a mix of my breast/nipples and her mouth were having a misunderstanding when it came to latching. This was quite devastating due to the fact that It's a big deal for myself as a woman to be able to provide for my baby and for someone to tell me that it might look like it won't happen unless I just sit there in pain and almost bleeding every time. Gladly I decided to look at my options and try the next best thing, pumping.
Pumping was like magic to me. No pain, super quick and you can store it for later. Now that I have been pumping for almost 2 months I must admit, I have lost the momentum! It's pretty exhausting to wash everything every 2-4 hours and sterilize it, store it, freeze it (milk), warm it up, on and on. I see why the people that choose to give formula decide on it. Its much easier (in my opinion).
I mentioned a thing or two to my lactation consultant at my last appointment with her and she said something to me that really stayed with me. It's also very true:
If I haven't done anything else in my life to be considered "an achievement", with this, I think I'm doing pretty well!
Hang in there!
-Susana
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